Horrendous Ways (Chapter 1,2,3) Violent J

[Intro]
Yeah, yeah
Three stories for y'all, all the same ending
Death in a horrendous way
Why? Why, man?
Tell me why
Fifty million horrendous ways to die out here
Why? Why?
Ooh ooh ooh

[Verse 1]
Jeff and his little brother Stewie were crazy
Colorado kids, outdoor explorers, nothing lazy
Jeff's back from the Navy, Stewie's having a baby
'Member crawling through them caves, Stewie? Yeah
It's amazing we ain't kill ourselves, what, the shit was the best
Belly sliding through tunnels, blow all thе air out your chest
Just to squeeze through, we usеd to go deep in them caves
In fact, let's go again tomorrow like it was the old days
He didn't wanna, but for Jeff's honor, they scaled the fence
And crawled in, hella tense, already the air's dense
That way makes no sense, Jeff, look, you're headed down
Yeah, but I can't back up, I think I'm stuck, I need to turn around
If I just squeeze on ahead, I'm sure there's room for me to do that
Fuck! Dead end! I'm wedged in! I blew that
Stewie, get help! Legs above, his head can't hardly breathe
Hours later, cops in a rescue team arrive on the scene
Jeffrey, we're gonna need to break your legs to try to wedge you from the rock
But you could die from the painful shock, we need your consent, we're on the clock
Oh, and the angle you're in is drowning your brain in blood
We need to start, ooh, never mind, his heart just beat its last thud, clear out!