This Is What It’s Like Boundaries

It's happening again
I'm tearing at the slack, clawing at my skin
Until all that's left is all there's ever been
Until all that's left

Are new beginnings and nerve endings
Open pores hammered shut with blackened nails
The spiral starts, I descend

Years peel back like pages
So much time
Nothing changes
Everyone's moved on
Look at me, I'm still here

A monument to my avoidance
I didn't break it (Why do I have to fix it?)
God left me fucking unfinished
God left me

There's gonna be a day it's all too much
And everything that's kept me alive has disappeared
This is what it's like
To have a predisposition to self destruction

It never leaves
It never leaves me be
I want to be washed, want to be cleaned
Want to be free from the burn in my bones that keeps me awake
No escape from the unwavering ache