Witch burning Monty Python

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- We have found a witch. May we burn her?
- Burn her!
- How do you know she is a witch?
- She looks like one
- Bring her forward
- I am not a witch
- But you are dressed as one
- They dressed me up like this
- We didn't!
- And this isn't my nose. It's a false one
- Well?
- Well, we did do the nose
- The nose?
- And the hat. But she is a witch
- Burn her!
- Did you dress her up like this?
- No
- Yes
- Yes, a bit. She has got a wart
- What makes you think she is a witch?
- Well, she turned me into a newt
- A newt?
- I got better
- Burn her anyway
- Burn her!
- Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch
- Are there? What are they? Tell us
- Tell me, what do you do with witches?
- Burn them!
- What do you burn apart from witches?
- More witches!
- Wood
- So, why do witches burn?
- 'Cause they're made of wood?
- Good!
- So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
- Build a bridge out of her
- Can you not also make bridges of stone?
- Oh, yeah
- Does wood sink in water?
- No
- It floats
- Throw her into the pond!
- What also floats in water?
- Bread
- Apples
- Very small rocks
- Cider
- Cherries
- Gravy
- Mud
- Churches
- Lead
- A duck!
- Exactly
So, logically...
- If she weighs the same as a duck...
She's made of wood
- And, therefore...
- A witch!
- A witch!