The “Nice Guy” Ballad Wilbur Soot

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[Intro]
Hello, no one is available to take your call
Please leave a message after the tone *beep*
You're a fucking bitch, Sarah, I swear to God
I'm gonna find you, and– *beep*
Hey Sarah, I just wanted to say sorry for my last message
I'm just a little angry at the moment, 'cause it's
Y'know, I'm such a nice guy and you seem to only date scumbags
I just wanted to make sure there's no hard feelings between us
Please, please can you unblock me on MSN Messenger? *beep*

[Verse 1]
M'lady
Can you hear me?
Please don't block my number again
Look, I've jumped through all your hoops
We got off on the wrong foot
But I want to prove to you
That I'm not obsessed with sex

[Verse 2]
Left on seen
Another visit to your Facebook gallery
This time not to masturbate
But instead, to appreciate
Something no man could do as well as I can
Something that shouldn't be for free
Because I'm the only guy for you
And you're the only girl for me