Sunday ​guardin

[Verse 1]
Eight years and not a damn thing changed
I mean, I grew a little taller, but I'm sick and deranged
This dead weight on my shoulders got me feelin' so chained
A blunt will surely just diminish the pain
Sunday paper, saw your name on the page
Tryna hold back all these tears and bite my tongue through the rage
Disappear inside my head and kill the thought with some sage
Heaven sent, it's evident that you gon' light up the stage

[Verse 2]
And I know that you gon' make it to those pearly white gates
I'm a sinner, no god inside my realm decidin' my fate
But religion's how you found yourself and I think that's great
And growin' up, my mama told me that it's never too late
But my mind's in a crate, an asylum of doubt
I don't think the preacher likes the words that exit my mouth
Believin' in myself is my own personal route
​guardin guards his guardian angel as the demons come out
And they got me shakin' hands with the strangers in my brain
Am I reachin' for the stars or am I just going insane?
I've been trapped inside this hell of mine long before the rain
Can somebody shut me up and put an end to all this pain?
I wanna fight it, ignite it, smite it right out of me
My blood's runnin' colder and I'm tryna find some kinda heat
The burner is parallel, paralyzing the incomplete
My stomach engulfed in the toxic tonic of River Street
And I don't know who I am
Traded my soul when I was fifteen for a couple of grams
You'd think by now with all the time that's passed, I'd be givin' a damn
But all I care about is her, music and startin' a fam', fuck