Alma Tom Lehrer

[Verse]
The loveliest girl in Vienna
Was Alma, the smartest as well
Once you picked her up on your antenna
You'd never be free of her spell
Her lovers were many and varied
From the day she began her beguine
There were three famous ones whom she married
And God knows how many between

[Chorus]
Alma, tell us:
All modern women are jealous
Which of your magical wands
Got you Gustav and Walter and Franz?

[Verse]
The first one she married was Mahler
Whose buddies all knew him as Gustav
And each time he saw her he'd holler:
"Ach, that is the fräulein I must have!"
Their marriage, however, was murdah
He'd scream to the heavens above:
"I'm writing Das Lied von der Erde
Und she only wants to make love!"