Damn Near Died in Killaloe Gaelic Storm

A wedding invitation arrived out of the blue
My cousin Tim was getting hitched to a girl from Killaloe
He wanted me to be there, even though we'd never met
And that wedding day in Killaloe is a one I won't forget

The knot was tied in Killaloe
He kissed the bride in Killaloe
Got ossified in Killaloe
Damn near died in Killaloe

Well, I cleared the immigration, went straight up to the hooley
I paid too much insurance for me rental from Dan Dooley
'Twas a tiny little Skoda, 'twas hardly four feet wide
When we squeezed in, the steering wheel was on the other side
And once we left the airport, I had an awful fright
The cars were coming towards me, I was driving on the right
I went the wrong way 'round the roundabout, I hadn't got a clue
So I started driving backwards down the road to Killaloe

I crashed my ride in Killaloe
The knot was tied in Killaloe
He kissed the bride in Killaloe
Got ossified in Killaloe
Damn near died in Killaloe

Somehow they lost my luggage between Shannon and O'Hare
No toothbrush or tuxedo, no socks or underwear
I came in on a Sunday, so all the shops were closed
So my cousins tried to fit me out in Uncle Barry's clothes
Who knew what you could do with day-glo polyester
With wingtips and a furry tie, I was tricked out like a jester
Ten minutes 'til the service, so what else were we to do?
That's time enough for a couple o' rounds at the pub in Killaloe