Tom Cruise Crazy Jonathan Coulton

[Verse 1]
Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie
At least all his people tell him so
And while he thinks that she's a very special lady
It's probably not the way he'd choose to go
But a lifetime of longing looks
Would cause too much distraction
Good thing that he's not gay anymore

[Refrain]
Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
Just be glad it's him, not you
If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too
You'd flash your big white shiny smile
And buy expensive shoes
But you'd be the only man on Earth
Who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise

[Verse 2]
Tom Cruise is always getting older
He knows he'll never be that young again
And when Tom Cruise looks back over his shoulder
He sees a thousand younger leading men
He knows someday he'll have to play
An old, retarded grandpa
While someone younger plays his sexy son