Nick Teen and Al K. Hall Rolf Harris

Spoken introduction:
Nicholas! Albert! Look, I don't know where they are, but I'd like you to meet
My two pals, my buddies, my two amigos. I'll tell you all about them - well...

I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

Strange as it seems, I met in my dreams, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall
Here's what they said to me, 'Use your head, just see your life is very, very dull"

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

So I said to Nick, 'Nick tell me quick, what should a fellow do?'
He said to me, 'Boy, easy to see boy, you should try a cigarette or two.'

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall

So I lit a fag, and I took a drag, then to my great surprise
I started to gasp, and coughed like a rasp
And everything spun round before my eyes

Well, I never gargled, I never gambled, I never smoked at all
Until I met my two good amigos, Nick Teen and Al K. Hall