Man of the Year Alice Cooper

I wake up every morning, Six o'clock, I'm right on time
I eat a low fat breakfast, I tie a perfect tie
I kiss the wife, I hug the kids, I pat the dogs and cats
I never lose anything, my car keys or my hat

'Cause I'm the man of the year
I'm the man of the year

I never cheat at finals, or miss a day at school
My urine tests are perfect, my prostate is a jewel

'Cause I'm the man of the year
I'm the man of the year
'Cause I'm the man of the year
I'm never, ever jealous
Never, ever cruel
I'm a graduate of Harvard
Where I never broke the rules

The queen made me a knight
The pope made me a saint
The president plays golf with me
I make Madonna faint

So why am I so lonely
Depressed and in despair
If I pull this trigger in my mouth will anybody care