Roast Battle from “Stress Relief Part 2” S5 E15 The Office (USA)

[MICHAEL]
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!
You are all jerks! Just kidding! Not yet anyway.
Welcome to the roast of Mr. Michael Scott. If you are here for the Kowalski wedding, it is the second door on the left. So we all know how these work, needs to get crazy. Take your best shots. I am going to sit right over "chair" and, uh, whoever wants to come up and roast me, you may.

(ANGELA approaches the stage)

Uh... okay. Lower the mic for the midget.

[ANGELA]
If you ever wondered if you are Michael Scott, here's a quiz to help. If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott.

(aside)
I normally don't enjoy making people laugh.

[ANGELA]
If you ever called the fire department, 'cause your head was stuck in your chair, you might be-

[ALL]
Michael Scott!

[MICHAEL]
Hey, hey! I don't go make burgers where you work and then tell you how to make burgers.
(laughs)

(KELLY is on the stage)