Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler (Ft. David Spade, Margaret Ruden, Rob Schneider, Steven Koren, Tim Herlihy & Tim Meadows)

(Car approaches)
Toll Booth Willie: "Welcome to Worcester. Dollar twenty-five please."
M1: "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?"
Toll Booth Willie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!"
M1: "Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!"
(Pays toll and drives off)
Toll Booth Willie: "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!"

(Another car approaches)
M2: "Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?"
Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?"
M2: "Oh, great, great. How much?"
Toll Booth Willie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop."
M2: "That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?"
(Pays toll and drives off)
Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louisville fuckin' slugger! Whadya think of that, ass fuck!?"

(Another car approaches)
F1: "Hi Willie."
Toll Booth Willie: "Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?"
F1: "Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions."
Toll Booth Willie: "Well I know my way around New England, I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?"
F1: "Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me, I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick."
(Drives off)
Toll Booth Willie: "You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore! I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!"