Mandy Goes to Med School The Dresden Dolls

I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger
Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh IV
Giddy as a gang-banger with a set of sutures where his Magic Johnson ought to be

Yes I'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing
Let's start in with a test of your intelligence
And zest for the counter-productive
Up and down and roundabout and out the back
And keep your mouth shut tight
The lights are staying out but no sweat I've got aim like a mack truck
Guess how many fingers OK guess how many more I can fit there
Guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere

I've been baking cakes for the enemy
I've been dying to find out the hard way
I've been taking friends to the alleyway
Two down now but who's counting anyway?

Yes I can do everything you need from out of my new SUV
All my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery
Put away those pliers honey trust me cause I know the options
How about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin

I've been getting up close and intimate
Some close calls but I'm getting into it
In some states they say you can burn for it
But I'll burn that bridge when I get to it