Kings And Queens Loudon Wainwright III

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I'm as old as the King of Sweden
I can drink in Connecticut
You're a year older than the Princess Anne
I don't mean it as an unkind cut
I'll never catch King Hailie Selassie
And you'll never catch Princess Grace
No monarchy was to bequeathed to we
But I'm a-hoping that we'll find our place

At times I feel like Tutankhamun
Won't you be my Nefertiti tonight?
Hey, stock up on them tana* leaves
'Cause the mummy's got to see the light
Ah, Napoleon had his Jospehine
And Pocahontas had her Captain Smith
Queen Isabella Ferdinand was a fella
But on Columbus she bestowed her gift

I am the king of the hully-gully
And you are the queen of slop
Doing the hand-jive on the telly
Let's go to the hop
Oh baby, I'm as old as the King of Sweden
I can drink in Connecticut
You're a year older than the Princess Anne
I don't mean it as an unkind cut