[Intro: Chef]
Here's South Park's favorite band, Primus!
[Spoken: Les Claypool]
In 1986, the University of California at Davis saw two of its all-time brightest stars, Dr. Alphonse Mephisto and Dr. Arnie Apesacrappin. Dr. Mephisto worked hard towards his thesis - his goal was to genetically duplicate the DNA structure of asparagus, so that all asparagus would grow to the same girth and length, giving asparagus a much more pleasant presentation in the world's
Supermarket vegetable bins. Dr. Apesacrappin's goal was to genetically create the greatest musical entertainer the world had ever seen. Dr. Apesacrappin knew that if he could assemble the right elements, he could theoretically build a DNA structure that would ensure his creation had talent far surpassing the average individual. At the time, one subject of urban myth was the story that Michael Jackson - in an effort to retain his youthful look and feminine vocal characteristics - had his testicles surgically removed, thereby making him a modern-day castrato. If such a rumor were true, Michael Jackson more than likely would have had some of his semen preserved before the surgery, to ensure the future of his name and lineage. Word came back to Dr. Apesacrappin of a secret cold storage locker deep within the bowels of the UCLA research center, that not only contained four containers of frozen semen, but also held a pair of testicles, each was labeled with the name "Jack Michaelson"
[Pre-Chorus: Chef]
I once heard a noise
In the night, the most sensual voice
Song of love from an angelic boy
Stuck in my head
And this is what he said:
[Chorus: Chef]
"I am gopher boy
Pondering reality
I am gopher boy
Who will buy my raspberries?"
[Spoken: Les Claypool]
This had to be the seed of the King of Pop! Dr. Apesacrappin was able to use his charm and chiseled Greek features to woo a young lab technician by the name of Jennifer - who, of course, just happened to have the proper access needed to obtain a small vial of the precious semen. The search for the egg was a short one; Dr. Mephisto simply ran an ad in the classified section of an L.A. music magazine. The ad read: "Wanted: unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment. Donors must have musical background." With a plethora of young, eager, wanna-be musical starlets willing to sell their eggs, the two doctors - after rigorous auditioning - picked and purchased. Dr. Apesacrappin felt that it would be far less complicated legally if the fetus were brought to term in the womb of a non-human. He had long since secured the services of the University volleyball mascot, a llama by the name of "Missy"
When the baby was ready, the child was removed via cesarean. It was a healthy baby boy. He was named Kevin
[Pre-Chorus: Chef]
I once heard a noise
In the night, the most sensual voice
Song of love from an angelic boy
Stuck in my head
And this is what he said:
Here's South Park's favorite band, Primus!
[Spoken: Les Claypool]
In 1986, the University of California at Davis saw two of its all-time brightest stars, Dr. Alphonse Mephisto and Dr. Arnie Apesacrappin. Dr. Mephisto worked hard towards his thesis - his goal was to genetically duplicate the DNA structure of asparagus, so that all asparagus would grow to the same girth and length, giving asparagus a much more pleasant presentation in the world's
Supermarket vegetable bins. Dr. Apesacrappin's goal was to genetically create the greatest musical entertainer the world had ever seen. Dr. Apesacrappin knew that if he could assemble the right elements, he could theoretically build a DNA structure that would ensure his creation had talent far surpassing the average individual. At the time, one subject of urban myth was the story that Michael Jackson - in an effort to retain his youthful look and feminine vocal characteristics - had his testicles surgically removed, thereby making him a modern-day castrato. If such a rumor were true, Michael Jackson more than likely would have had some of his semen preserved before the surgery, to ensure the future of his name and lineage. Word came back to Dr. Apesacrappin of a secret cold storage locker deep within the bowels of the UCLA research center, that not only contained four containers of frozen semen, but also held a pair of testicles, each was labeled with the name "Jack Michaelson"
[Pre-Chorus: Chef]
I once heard a noise
In the night, the most sensual voice
Song of love from an angelic boy
Stuck in my head
And this is what he said:
[Chorus: Chef]
"I am gopher boy
Pondering reality
I am gopher boy
Who will buy my raspberries?"
[Spoken: Les Claypool]
This had to be the seed of the King of Pop! Dr. Apesacrappin was able to use his charm and chiseled Greek features to woo a young lab technician by the name of Jennifer - who, of course, just happened to have the proper access needed to obtain a small vial of the precious semen. The search for the egg was a short one; Dr. Mephisto simply ran an ad in the classified section of an L.A. music magazine. The ad read: "Wanted: unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment. Donors must have musical background." With a plethora of young, eager, wanna-be musical starlets willing to sell their eggs, the two doctors - after rigorous auditioning - picked and purchased. Dr. Apesacrappin felt that it would be far less complicated legally if the fetus were brought to term in the womb of a non-human. He had long since secured the services of the University volleyball mascot, a llama by the name of "Missy"
When the baby was ready, the child was removed via cesarean. It was a healthy baby boy. He was named Kevin
[Pre-Chorus: Chef]
I once heard a noise
In the night, the most sensual voice
Song of love from an angelic boy
Stuck in my head
And this is what he said:
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