[Verse 1]
I been drinking all day and was looking for love
I got a call from a girl in the apartment above
She told me to come up and I was happy as hell
I couldn't walk so well so I stumbled and fell
A ten story fall down a fire escape
I didn't wanna die yet but it was too late
Halfway down I saw a flashing light
A dude with a beard came into my sight
He said, "My name is God and I been watching you sin
I'm up here in heaven, do you wanna get in?
Apologize before you land
If you don't then you'll be damned"
[Chorus 1]
I'll send you to hell
In a handbasket
Where you'll burn just like your body will
You're too fat for the damn casket
[Interlude]
So I apologized
And when I hit the ground I felt no pain whatsoever, I just ended up in this clear glass elevator and shot straight upward
Past the clouds, past more clouds
It took a long time but eventually I saw the pearly gates of heaven
And when I got to the pearly gates I noticed that they were very fancy
There's red velvet ropes everywhere
It was very, how do you say, prestigious
And sure enough I was on the VIP list
So I decided to walk on in
I been drinking all day and was looking for love
I got a call from a girl in the apartment above
She told me to come up and I was happy as hell
I couldn't walk so well so I stumbled and fell
A ten story fall down a fire escape
I didn't wanna die yet but it was too late
Halfway down I saw a flashing light
A dude with a beard came into my sight
He said, "My name is God and I been watching you sin
I'm up here in heaven, do you wanna get in?
Apologize before you land
If you don't then you'll be damned"
[Chorus 1]
I'll send you to hell
In a handbasket
Where you'll burn just like your body will
You're too fat for the damn casket
[Interlude]
So I apologized
And when I hit the ground I felt no pain whatsoever, I just ended up in this clear glass elevator and shot straight upward
Past the clouds, past more clouds
It took a long time but eventually I saw the pearly gates of heaven
And when I got to the pearly gates I noticed that they were very fancy
There's red velvet ropes everywhere
It was very, how do you say, prestigious
And sure enough I was on the VIP list
So I decided to walk on in
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