When The Kids Get Married Harvey Schmidt (Ft. Mary Martin & Robert Preston)

[MICHAEL]
When the kids get married
I'm gonna spend each day in bed!
Chocolates in my pocket
A pillow underhead!
I'm gonna read just what I please
Even finish "War and Peace"
I wish they'd marry soon!

(spoken)
Agnes, would you pass me my collected Tolstoy, please?
Ah, thank you. Now if you'll just excuse me for a couple of years?

[AGNES, spoken]
Quite alright, dear, I have plans of my own

(sung)
When the kids get married
I'm gonna teach myself to paint
Nothing very fancy
Something kind of quaint!
I'm gonna paint the way we live
Call it "early primitive"

[BOTH]
I wish they'd marry soon!