[Chorus]
The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of 1978
[Verse 1]
Now, I'm in Lubbock, Texas the other night
Drinking beer and about half-tight
Me and Paul and Jim and a guy named El
We were drawing pictures and writing songs
Sitting there, talking, 'fore too long
Paul said, "We ought to move this party over to Stubb's"
The smoke was hanging low and thick
And the guitar man was a-hunting licks
And Joe Ely was in the back room shooting pool
Now, we all went back there to check it out
And Joe [???]
I heard the old story, [???] knows how to handle a stick
I said, "I've had chalk on better clothes
And you all know how that stuff goes"
Pretty soon, we's shooting pool and just raising hell
[Chorus]
The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of 1978
[Verse 2]
Joe and me kind of drew a crowd
The place got drunk and the place got loud
And Joe reached over in a sack and pulled out a big ol' onion
He placed that onion on the felt
And said, "Here's where you're gonna need some help
We're gonna use that hamburger helper for a cue ball"
Then, Joe picked up a big ol' broom
And he waved it all around the room
Said, "I'm gonna play that onion cue ball with a broomstick"
We battled back and forth all night
The tears were streaming from our eyes
And I had that onion for an 8-ball in the corner pocket
Now, the place got quiet as a mouse
And we told the guitar man to lay out
And I could barely see that onion for all that grass
But I sipped a beer and fought back tears
And watched that 8-ball disappear
And the whole damn town of Lubbock, Texas went wild
And amidst the yelling and the cheers
Joe said, "Y'all wait 'til next year"
And that's how I won The Onion Broadway Championship of '78
The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of 1978
[Verse 1]
Now, I'm in Lubbock, Texas the other night
Drinking beer and about half-tight
Me and Paul and Jim and a guy named El
We were drawing pictures and writing songs
Sitting there, talking, 'fore too long
Paul said, "We ought to move this party over to Stubb's"
The smoke was hanging low and thick
And the guitar man was a-hunting licks
And Joe Ely was in the back room shooting pool
Now, we all went back there to check it out
And Joe [???]
I heard the old story, [???] knows how to handle a stick
I said, "I've had chalk on better clothes
And you all know how that stuff goes"
Pretty soon, we's shooting pool and just raising hell
[Chorus]
The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of 1978
[Verse 2]
Joe and me kind of drew a crowd
The place got drunk and the place got loud
And Joe reached over in a sack and pulled out a big ol' onion
He placed that onion on the felt
And said, "Here's where you're gonna need some help
We're gonna use that hamburger helper for a cue ball"
Then, Joe picked up a big ol' broom
And he waved it all around the room
Said, "I'm gonna play that onion cue ball with a broomstick"
We battled back and forth all night
The tears were streaming from our eyes
And I had that onion for an 8-ball in the corner pocket
Now, the place got quiet as a mouse
And we told the guitar man to lay out
And I could barely see that onion for all that grass
But I sipped a beer and fought back tears
And watched that 8-ball disappear
And the whole damn town of Lubbock, Texas went wild
And amidst the yelling and the cheers
Joe said, "Y'all wait 'til next year"
And that's how I won The Onion Broadway Championship of '78
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