"I always liked Super Mario 64 when I was a kid. I remember playing it at my aunt's house all the time. Well, one day, a popup appeared out of nowhere, when I was watching gameplay footage on Youtube. I was a little startled and was about to close the window until I realized it was a website showing a perfect, pristine copy of Super Mario 64 for sale. There was a photo and all. I don't usually trust these things, but the nostalgic feeling overwhelmed me, and I wanted to buy them.
The whole thing was peculiar, seeing as how the game's owner wanted the buyer to send an envelope containing R$20 to the address on the website, rather than using something like PayPal. What made things even weirder was that when I tried to access the site (I typed the URL) after encountering… problems with the game, the page was nowhere to be found.
A few days after the R$20 has been sent, I receive a package containing the new copy of the game. The first thing I noticed when I opened the small box was that the “official sticker” with Mario flying in the air had apparently been ripped off or something. In its place was a piece of masking tape with “Mario” crudely written in permanent marker. I felt a little bad about it, but as long as the game ran, I didn't care.
I mounted my Nintendo 64 and put the cartridge on. The screen turns on with the familiar face of Mario that you can stretch and twist as much as you like. I remembered laughing all the time at the results as a kid and decided to mess around for old times' sake. I moved the cursor over Mario's ear and pulled it to elven proportions. I was about to do the same on the other ear when suddenly the TV made noises caused by static. Mario's entire head started to get deformed and twist in a way I didn't even know was possible for the model. Random sound effects from the game started playing along with the static. While all this was going on, I could hear a faint voice whispering in Japanese. The voice was stuttering and whimpering.
I immediately turned off the game and tried again. I didn't bother with Mario's head this time. I just selected a new file and started playing.
When selected the file, the game skipped the opening monologue of Peach and the courtyard outside. Mario has just been placed right inside the castle. Scarier still, Bowser said nothing. I tried to ignore it and play anyway. However, I also noticed that there was no music. Just dead silence. There weren't even Toads around to talk to. The only door I could enter was the Bob-omb Battlefield. The other doors didn't even respond to my commands.
The portrait of Bob-omb Battlefield was not the usual image. It was just a stark white screen. I was still trying to convince myself that these were just minor issues and that they would have no bearing on the game at all. Once I entered the portrait, the image suddenly went from a blank canvas to the Lethal Lava Land painting. You know, that slightly unsettling image of the flame with the evil smile? Yeah, that's when I started to get very suspicious.
The mission select menu popped up, and yet another weird detail was present. Instead of “Big Bob-omb on the Summit”, the mission was called “TURN BACK”. I have no idea what prompted me to press A, but I did.
The level looked normal. Everything was as I remembered it. I thought I could finally enjoy my favorite childhood game. But then I saw him. Luigi. I was absolutely shocked. He was never in this game. His model wasn't even a Mario color swap. He looked like a completely original model. Luigi just stood there until I tried to approach him. He began to run at unexpected speeds. I followed him and crossed the level. Strange things happened while I was chasing him. Each time I picked up a coin, enemies and music would slow down, and the landscape would turn a darker, more morbid color. It gradually got worse until I collected the fifth coin. Then the music stopped. The enemies lay on the ground as if they were dead. I was very scared, but I
kept chasing Luigi.
I went up the hill. There were no cannonballs rolling around trying to take me down. I really wasn't surprised at this point. Luigi was always out of my sight as I ran. Once I reached the summit, I saw yet another object out of place. A small country house was all that was seen at the top of the hill. Luigi was nowhere to be found. The house was certainly strange for a Mario game. It was old, plain, and broken. Regardless of my fears, at that moment, I made Mario enter the house.
As soon as the door closed, a disturbing portrait of Luigi hanged immediately appeared along with a very creepy sound. It sounded like a violin scream accompanied by a piano thumping loudly. Mario fell to his knees and cried for approximately 5 minutes, then the screen went black.
I returned to the castle. Mario fell out of the painting. The image changed from Lethal Lava Land to the image of Luigi hanged. The room was different this time. It was now a small hallway. Toads with blank faces and white robes lined the hallway. There was another painting at the far end that completely freaked me out. It was a photo of my family. It wasn't a photo from the time Super Mario 64 was released. It was a very, very recent photo. I remembered posing for her last week.
I reached for the power button on the N64. There was no way I was going to play this anymore. However, even though I had already pulled (for those who didn't have an N64, the on/off button on this console was a pull, not press) button, the game was still on. I pulled it back and forth but to no avail. I tried shutting down the entire system, but it never came off the screen. I was even still able to control Mario. I couldn't leave it there forever… and so I kept playing. I went to my family photo, and I jumped inside. Only one mission was available, of course. This one was called "Run, Don't Walk". I selected the mission. “Let’s-a-go”…
The whole thing was peculiar, seeing as how the game's owner wanted the buyer to send an envelope containing R$20 to the address on the website, rather than using something like PayPal. What made things even weirder was that when I tried to access the site (I typed the URL) after encountering… problems with the game, the page was nowhere to be found.
A few days after the R$20 has been sent, I receive a package containing the new copy of the game. The first thing I noticed when I opened the small box was that the “official sticker” with Mario flying in the air had apparently been ripped off or something. In its place was a piece of masking tape with “Mario” crudely written in permanent marker. I felt a little bad about it, but as long as the game ran, I didn't care.
I mounted my Nintendo 64 and put the cartridge on. The screen turns on with the familiar face of Mario that you can stretch and twist as much as you like. I remembered laughing all the time at the results as a kid and decided to mess around for old times' sake. I moved the cursor over Mario's ear and pulled it to elven proportions. I was about to do the same on the other ear when suddenly the TV made noises caused by static. Mario's entire head started to get deformed and twist in a way I didn't even know was possible for the model. Random sound effects from the game started playing along with the static. While all this was going on, I could hear a faint voice whispering in Japanese. The voice was stuttering and whimpering.
I immediately turned off the game and tried again. I didn't bother with Mario's head this time. I just selected a new file and started playing.
When selected the file, the game skipped the opening monologue of Peach and the courtyard outside. Mario has just been placed right inside the castle. Scarier still, Bowser said nothing. I tried to ignore it and play anyway. However, I also noticed that there was no music. Just dead silence. There weren't even Toads around to talk to. The only door I could enter was the Bob-omb Battlefield. The other doors didn't even respond to my commands.
The portrait of Bob-omb Battlefield was not the usual image. It was just a stark white screen. I was still trying to convince myself that these were just minor issues and that they would have no bearing on the game at all. Once I entered the portrait, the image suddenly went from a blank canvas to the Lethal Lava Land painting. You know, that slightly unsettling image of the flame with the evil smile? Yeah, that's when I started to get very suspicious.
The mission select menu popped up, and yet another weird detail was present. Instead of “Big Bob-omb on the Summit”, the mission was called “TURN BACK”. I have no idea what prompted me to press A, but I did.
The level looked normal. Everything was as I remembered it. I thought I could finally enjoy my favorite childhood game. But then I saw him. Luigi. I was absolutely shocked. He was never in this game. His model wasn't even a Mario color swap. He looked like a completely original model. Luigi just stood there until I tried to approach him. He began to run at unexpected speeds. I followed him and crossed the level. Strange things happened while I was chasing him. Each time I picked up a coin, enemies and music would slow down, and the landscape would turn a darker, more morbid color. It gradually got worse until I collected the fifth coin. Then the music stopped. The enemies lay on the ground as if they were dead. I was very scared, but I
kept chasing Luigi.
I went up the hill. There were no cannonballs rolling around trying to take me down. I really wasn't surprised at this point. Luigi was always out of my sight as I ran. Once I reached the summit, I saw yet another object out of place. A small country house was all that was seen at the top of the hill. Luigi was nowhere to be found. The house was certainly strange for a Mario game. It was old, plain, and broken. Regardless of my fears, at that moment, I made Mario enter the house.
As soon as the door closed, a disturbing portrait of Luigi hanged immediately appeared along with a very creepy sound. It sounded like a violin scream accompanied by a piano thumping loudly. Mario fell to his knees and cried for approximately 5 minutes, then the screen went black.
I returned to the castle. Mario fell out of the painting. The image changed from Lethal Lava Land to the image of Luigi hanged. The room was different this time. It was now a small hallway. Toads with blank faces and white robes lined the hallway. There was another painting at the far end that completely freaked me out. It was a photo of my family. It wasn't a photo from the time Super Mario 64 was released. It was a very, very recent photo. I remembered posing for her last week.
I reached for the power button on the N64. There was no way I was going to play this anymore. However, even though I had already pulled (for those who didn't have an N64, the on/off button on this console was a pull, not press) button, the game was still on. I pulled it back and forth but to no avail. I tried shutting down the entire system, but it never came off the screen. I was even still able to control Mario. I couldn't leave it there forever… and so I kept playing. I went to my family photo, and I jumped inside. Only one mission was available, of course. This one was called "Run, Don't Walk". I selected the mission. “Let’s-a-go”…
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