Them’s The Vagaries Half Man Half Biscuit

You may have to rescue me
From limestone quarries frequently
Those corporate stunt shows you attend
You’ll never get asked back again
Say!
Hello spinal curvature
Get used to the mirthless furniture
Now we’ve kissed I’ve written this list
I thought you ought to know

Them’s the vagaries
Them’s the vagaries
Them’s the vagaries
Them’s the vagaries
Them’s the vagaries
Them’s the vagaries

Well I’ll not sit backwards on the train
I can’t say I’ll always flush the chain
And what I call pleasure you may call pain
I’m talking five-day tests
Prepare to lose your dignity
As I ride to victory
Down the aisles at Tesco
Wearing nothing much at all