OPENING CREDITS
CUT TO: INT. APARTMENT
A lighter clinks. Cut to close-up of Deadpool smoking. He winds up a music box and places it on his desk. He presses the button starting the music box. “All Out Of Love” by Air Supply begins playing. Deadpool walks through his apartment. He knocks some cups over. He turns all of the dials on the oven on and breathes in the gas. He takes a Toaster Strudel out of a mini-oven and throws it across the room. He smokes again, then pulls down his mask. Cut to a shot of a number of pictures on the wall of the apartment. Cut to Deadpool laying down on some barrels of gasoline and continuing to smoke. He flicks his cigarette up into the air. In comes back down and lands in one of the barrels, causing them to explode. He is consumed in the explosion, and his limbs fly everywhere, with one hand flipping off the camera as it goes.
DEADPOOL: Fuck Wolverine. First, he rides my coattails with the R rating. Then the hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying. What a dick. Well, guess what, Wolvie? I'm dying in this one, too.
CUT TO: EXT. HONG KONG
Cut to a shot of a city. “X Gon' Give It to Ya” by DMX starts playing. The camera pans to Deadpool sitting on a rooftop as he narrates.
DEADPOOL: To understand why I took a cat-nap on 1,200 gallons of high-test fuel, I need to take you back to the dewy slopes of six weeks ago. I'd gone international, taking out mass murderers, gangsters, unspeakable monsters. People nobody would touch. Except me. I'm gonna touch them all over.
Cut to inside the building. A man at a bar gets a phone call. He answers it.
DEADPOOL: Hey, it's Gail calling. Love the shiny suit. Really brings out the sex trafficker in your eyes.
MAN: (In Cantonese) Whatever they’re paying you, I’ll double it.
DEADPOOL: I don't speak Cantonese, Mister…
Cut to Deadpool. He looks at a business card with some cantonese written on it.
DEADPOOL: Well, I'm not even gonna attempt that. But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so, (in Spanish) Where is the library? (In English) Which literally translates to, I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.
CUT TO: INT. APARTMENT
A lighter clinks. Cut to close-up of Deadpool smoking. He winds up a music box and places it on his desk. He presses the button starting the music box. “All Out Of Love” by Air Supply begins playing. Deadpool walks through his apartment. He knocks some cups over. He turns all of the dials on the oven on and breathes in the gas. He takes a Toaster Strudel out of a mini-oven and throws it across the room. He smokes again, then pulls down his mask. Cut to a shot of a number of pictures on the wall of the apartment. Cut to Deadpool laying down on some barrels of gasoline and continuing to smoke. He flicks his cigarette up into the air. In comes back down and lands in one of the barrels, causing them to explode. He is consumed in the explosion, and his limbs fly everywhere, with one hand flipping off the camera as it goes.
DEADPOOL: Fuck Wolverine. First, he rides my coattails with the R rating. Then the hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying. What a dick. Well, guess what, Wolvie? I'm dying in this one, too.
CUT TO: EXT. HONG KONG
Cut to a shot of a city. “X Gon' Give It to Ya” by DMX starts playing. The camera pans to Deadpool sitting on a rooftop as he narrates.
DEADPOOL: To understand why I took a cat-nap on 1,200 gallons of high-test fuel, I need to take you back to the dewy slopes of six weeks ago. I'd gone international, taking out mass murderers, gangsters, unspeakable monsters. People nobody would touch. Except me. I'm gonna touch them all over.
Cut to inside the building. A man at a bar gets a phone call. He answers it.
DEADPOOL: Hey, it's Gail calling. Love the shiny suit. Really brings out the sex trafficker in your eyes.
MAN: (In Cantonese) Whatever they’re paying you, I’ll double it.
DEADPOOL: I don't speak Cantonese, Mister…
Cut to Deadpool. He looks at a business card with some cantonese written on it.
DEADPOOL: Well, I'm not even gonna attempt that. But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so, (in Spanish) Where is the library? (In English) Which literally translates to, I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.
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