How can you do it? It's heartless, it's cruel
It's murder, cold-blooded, it's gross
To slay a poor vegetable just for your stew
Or to serve with some cheese sauce on toast
Have you no decency? Have you no shame?
Have you no conscience, you cad
To rip that poor vegetable out of the earth
Away from its poor mom and dad?
Oh, no, don't slay that potato
Let us be merciful, please
Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze dry it
Don't slice it or flake it
For God's sake, don't bake it
Don't shed the poor blood
Of this poor helpless spud
That's the worst kind of thing you could do
Oh, no, don't slay that potato
What never done nothing to you
Why not try picking on something your size
Instead of some carrot or bean?
The peas are all trembling there in their pod
Just because you're so vicious and mean
It's murder, cold-blooded, it's gross
To slay a poor vegetable just for your stew
Or to serve with some cheese sauce on toast
Have you no decency? Have you no shame?
Have you no conscience, you cad
To rip that poor vegetable out of the earth
Away from its poor mom and dad?
Oh, no, don't slay that potato
Let us be merciful, please
Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze dry it
Don't slice it or flake it
For God's sake, don't bake it
Don't shed the poor blood
Of this poor helpless spud
That's the worst kind of thing you could do
Oh, no, don't slay that potato
What never done nothing to you
Why not try picking on something your size
Instead of some carrot or bean?
The peas are all trembling there in their pod
Just because you're so vicious and mean
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