Reflections In A Flat Half Man Half Biscuit

Oh darling sugar honey
When it was nice and sunny
And when I had some money
We would go and see Echo And The Bunny
…men

Since I was eight I’ve loved you
Through garden gates I’ve shoved you
Then there’s the time I slashed you
And you had to go to hospital

Now you are gone forever
Shot by your Uncle Trevor
My story seems so tragic
Ali Bongo’s good at contortionism

Oh he’s much better than David Nixon ever was
Woh oh oh oo-ooh
Slowly I picked my life up
Now I go and pick the wife up
She works at Marks & Spencer’s
La la la Lech Walesas
When Cupid threw her last dart
You, girl, were still in my heart
I love you more than ever
Even though I married Trevor