The Gutterati? The Fratellis

Well I was chasing down flies and shooting up women
Trying to get the whole thing straight in my head
Looking for a girl who'd come with me swimming
And come and play tunes at the end of my bed, oh

And all the hard men were drinking down petrol
Bamming up the girls when in came the law
Heading for the door and getting tongue tied
When they asked me what exactly I saw

So I'll get some Monte Cristos
And we can all go see the band
Well, I may not be a looker, yeah
But I'll help you any way I can

Well, I was back at my room, I was making me nervous
Watching TV and picking my feet
Wishing I was pretty and burning my shoes
And wishing for once I'd kept the receipt

I called myself and wondered out loud
Tried to get the whole thing straight in my head
I left the tape running and played it back twice
But I couldn't make sense of what I had said

So I'll get some Monte Cristos
And we can all go see the band
Well I may not be a looker, yeah
But I'll help you any way I can