Grandma’s Song Ann Emery

[Spoken BILLY]
Grandma, do you really not remember about granddad?

[Spoken GRANDMA]
'Course I do!
How could I forget your granddad, Billy
We were married thirty-three year

[Spoken BILLY]
So what was like like
[Spoken GRANDMA]
He was a complete . . . Bastard!

[GRANDMA]
I hated the sod - for thirty-three year
We should never have married of that I'm quite clear
He spent the housekeeping money on whiskey and beer
And never lifted a finger
Times were hard, but the swine rolled back pissed
So we'd fight and he'd swing and he rarely missed
So I'd clobber the sod when he couldn't resist:
Asleep, you can't lift a finger

But we'd go dancing
And he'd hold me tight
He was air, He was water, He was breath, He was light
And he would hold me there, with all his might
And it was bliss for an hour or so
But then they called time to go
And in the morning we were sober