Catcliffe Shakedown Pulp

Straight down the Parkway follow your nose to a place where nobody wants to go
It's a fare and a half; they're having a larf
Everybody's broken or they're a dwarf

Pierrot mirror on the wall who is the ace-est of them all?
The Catcliffe girl who gets out before her 18th birthday

There's a little old man by the side of the road
Just where he came from nobody knows
He's so picturesque, a physical wreck, a dirty old bloke with no self-respect
Ow!

[Chorus]
Oh god!
You'd better leave town
Before you get caught in the Catcliffe Shakedown
Yeah
It's a step to the left; a step to the right
You do the Catcliffe Shakedown with all of your might
Oh, baby, shakedown

Pudgy 12 year-olds in Union Jack shorts addicted to coffee-whitener and frankfurters. And those boys who said "Hey mister we just want your car 'cos we're taking a girl to the reservoir" are outside the pub. Fine figures of men; exercising and dieting just doesn't suit them
"Have a meal in a glass, we're having a laugh, just come over here and your face we will smash"
Oh!

[Chorus]
Oh god!
You'd better leave town
Before you get caught in the Catcliffe Shakedown
Yeah
Shakedown
Shakedown
Shakedown