Phaedreaux King Missile
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(sung)
Phaedreaux was sad and dejected, bereft and broken, unspoken for, unable to think for himself or dream of better times or to see any point in going on at all
(On at all)
So Phaedreaux went walking along the path of hopeless hope that he once had discovered as a child before his illusions were shattered and scattered and smothered and covered and chunked and topped
The road was long and barren and dark and mysterious and foreboding, and every and any adjective that suggests gloomy occluded bleakness could serve as an accurate description of this road
(This road, this road, this road, this road)
But Phaedreaux knew deep inside his deepest heart of hearts that before his journey was halfway through he would come out somehow improved, altered, stronger and better able to comport himself among his fellow citizens
(Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux)
Phaedreaux followed the ominous path, and after a very long while he thought he saw something golden and flowing and shining in the distance
(Golden and flowing and shining and)
Phaedreaux decided that whether or not his vision was only illusory, it was still worthwhile to continue on his indeterminate quest
(Indeterminate quest)
Phaedreaux reached his golden goal, which turned out to be a fountain full of the urine of unicorns from an age long before human beings ever existed (Ever existed...existed)
The mystical, magical fountain of unicorn urine anointed Phaedreaux's hair with the scent of violets and daffodils and asparagus
(sung/spoken)
He came upon a cave, and as he approached it a band of magical multicolored monkeys happily sped toward Phaedreaux as if he were the 201st Golden Banana (Golden Banana)
Phaedreaux was sad and dejected, bereft and broken, unspoken for, unable to think for himself or dream of better times or to see any point in going on at all
(On at all)
So Phaedreaux went walking along the path of hopeless hope that he once had discovered as a child before his illusions were shattered and scattered and smothered and covered and chunked and topped
The road was long and barren and dark and mysterious and foreboding, and every and any adjective that suggests gloomy occluded bleakness could serve as an accurate description of this road
(This road, this road, this road, this road)
But Phaedreaux knew deep inside his deepest heart of hearts that before his journey was halfway through he would come out somehow improved, altered, stronger and better able to comport himself among his fellow citizens
(Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux)
Phaedreaux followed the ominous path, and after a very long while he thought he saw something golden and flowing and shining in the distance
(Golden and flowing and shining and)
Phaedreaux decided that whether or not his vision was only illusory, it was still worthwhile to continue on his indeterminate quest
(Indeterminate quest)
Phaedreaux reached his golden goal, which turned out to be a fountain full of the urine of unicorns from an age long before human beings ever existed (Ever existed...existed)
The mystical, magical fountain of unicorn urine anointed Phaedreaux's hair with the scent of violets and daffodils and asparagus
(sung/spoken)
He came upon a cave, and as he approached it a band of magical multicolored monkeys happily sped toward Phaedreaux as if he were the 201st Golden Banana (Golden Banana)
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