[Verse 1]
Once that you've decided on a killing
First you make a stone of your heart
And if you find that your hands are still willing
Then you can turn a murder into art
[Verse 2]
There really isn't any need for bloodshed
You just do it with a little more finesse
If you can slip a tablet into someone's coffee
Then it avoids an awful lot of mess
[Chorus]
Because it's murder by numbers, 1, 2, 3
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
It’s murder by numbers, 1, 2, 3
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
[Verse 3]
Now if you have a taste for this experience
And you're flushed with your very first success
Then you must try a twosome or a threesome
And you'll find your conscience bothers you much less
[Verse 4]
Because murder is like anything you take to
It's a habit-forming need for more and more
You can bump off every member of your family
And anybody else you find a bore
Once that you've decided on a killing
First you make a stone of your heart
And if you find that your hands are still willing
Then you can turn a murder into art
[Verse 2]
There really isn't any need for bloodshed
You just do it with a little more finesse
If you can slip a tablet into someone's coffee
Then it avoids an awful lot of mess
[Chorus]
Because it's murder by numbers, 1, 2, 3
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
It’s murder by numbers, 1, 2, 3
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
[Verse 3]
Now if you have a taste for this experience
And you're flushed with your very first success
Then you must try a twosome or a threesome
And you'll find your conscience bothers you much less
[Verse 4]
Because murder is like anything you take to
It's a habit-forming need for more and more
You can bump off every member of your family
And anybody else you find a bore
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