[Intro]
Did you know that in the world
There are nearly half a million facts?
But the average person only knows about a quarter of them
So, like some sort of gay conversion therapist DJ
I'm going to try set the record straight
[Verse 1]
Ladies and gentledudes (Hi)
May you consent, approve and let me choose
A few selected truths
With which to lecture you and set to music
I was sent to do this by Skull and Pat
A couple of lovely chaps who produce some other nerdy rap
Fact: Michael Jackson wasn't actually black
He was Latvian and just happened to look like that
Fact: The planet isn't flat or round, it's a rugby ball
In feet and inches Peter Dinklage is bloody tall
Vikings never wore helmets with horns
They never even wore pants or trousers at all
They came from Asia, invaded Scandinavia
Where they introduced the craze of ladies having labia
You probably may have been taught the periodic table
It was made by a carpenter from periodic maple
Plus there's periodic place mats and periodic cutlery
Arranged by periodic maids and periodic butlers
Each chemical element is the size of a pelican
That's so tiny that it defies any measurement
Fact: The oldest skeleton that's ever been discovered
Was a hundred and eleven, someone left it in a cupboard
Fact: No John Lennon song's ever been covered
They were lost in the wash and have never been recovered
He was in a heavy metal band called The Beatles
Then he met Paul McCartney and formed The Eagles
Their biggest ever hit was Hotel Rwanda
A motown anthem about smoking ganja
Fact: A goat's antlers are made out of bone cancer
"Hello, ho" is the phrase you'd say when the phone answered
I'm so proud of everything I get right
There's no doubt 'cause I read it on a website
There are five directions: North, south, left, right (yeah)
And I'm only as good at rapping as the next guy (hah)
Did you know that in the world
There are nearly half a million facts?
But the average person only knows about a quarter of them
So, like some sort of gay conversion therapist DJ
I'm going to try set the record straight
[Verse 1]
Ladies and gentledudes (Hi)
May you consent, approve and let me choose
A few selected truths
With which to lecture you and set to music
I was sent to do this by Skull and Pat
A couple of lovely chaps who produce some other nerdy rap
Fact: Michael Jackson wasn't actually black
He was Latvian and just happened to look like that
Fact: The planet isn't flat or round, it's a rugby ball
In feet and inches Peter Dinklage is bloody tall
Vikings never wore helmets with horns
They never even wore pants or trousers at all
They came from Asia, invaded Scandinavia
Where they introduced the craze of ladies having labia
You probably may have been taught the periodic table
It was made by a carpenter from periodic maple
Plus there's periodic place mats and periodic cutlery
Arranged by periodic maids and periodic butlers
Each chemical element is the size of a pelican
That's so tiny that it defies any measurement
Fact: The oldest skeleton that's ever been discovered
Was a hundred and eleven, someone left it in a cupboard
Fact: No John Lennon song's ever been covered
They were lost in the wash and have never been recovered
He was in a heavy metal band called The Beatles
Then he met Paul McCartney and formed The Eagles
Their biggest ever hit was Hotel Rwanda
A motown anthem about smoking ganja
Fact: A goat's antlers are made out of bone cancer
"Hello, ho" is the phrase you'd say when the phone answered
I'm so proud of everything I get right
There's no doubt 'cause I read it on a website
There are five directions: North, south, left, right (yeah)
And I'm only as good at rapping as the next guy (hah)
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