[Trevor]
Hi, I'm Trevor Moore.
Due to the recent revelations that in order to "fight terrorism", the NSA has been using a secret court order to spy on every single Verizon and AT&T customer, Americans have become outraged and concerned about their right to privacy. But along with that concern comes the feeling of hopelessness. I mean, what can we do? Vote in new leaders? Well, the problem is that during an election, each candidate pretends to not be an asshole. Then when they get the job, they reveal they've actually been a complete asshole this entire time. And just look at these people they are going to let us pick from in 2016 - Do you think they are not going to be giant assholes?
No, elections are of no use. The only way to fight back against our country's excessive wiretapping and datamining, is to make it irrelevant. That is why we are launching Operation: Everyone Talk Like A Terrorist All The Time.
If we all openly discussed terrorist's plots in each of our phone conversations, then eavesdropping on those phone conversations becomes pointless. It's simple. We just need to work it into our daily vernacular. For example, instead of saying "I love you" you could describe a terror attack. The larger the scale, the more you love the person.
[Girl]
Hi mom, I just got out of school. Can you pick me up?
[Mom]
Sigh. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I will use a trap bomb to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge.
[Girl]
I'm mailing anthrax to Piers Morgan.
[Trevor]
Or, nonsense about God's will being great could mean "affirmative", while horseshit about multiculturalism could mean "negative".
[Guy in front of cinema]
Hey man, they have a seven thirty show, do you think you can make it in time?
[Driving guy]
God is merciful and his love is unchanging. Did you already get me a ticket?
Hi, I'm Trevor Moore.
Due to the recent revelations that in order to "fight terrorism", the NSA has been using a secret court order to spy on every single Verizon and AT&T customer, Americans have become outraged and concerned about their right to privacy. But along with that concern comes the feeling of hopelessness. I mean, what can we do? Vote in new leaders? Well, the problem is that during an election, each candidate pretends to not be an asshole. Then when they get the job, they reveal they've actually been a complete asshole this entire time. And just look at these people they are going to let us pick from in 2016 - Do you think they are not going to be giant assholes?
No, elections are of no use. The only way to fight back against our country's excessive wiretapping and datamining, is to make it irrelevant. That is why we are launching Operation: Everyone Talk Like A Terrorist All The Time.
If we all openly discussed terrorist's plots in each of our phone conversations, then eavesdropping on those phone conversations becomes pointless. It's simple. We just need to work it into our daily vernacular. For example, instead of saying "I love you" you could describe a terror attack. The larger the scale, the more you love the person.
[Girl]
Hi mom, I just got out of school. Can you pick me up?
[Mom]
Sigh. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I will use a trap bomb to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge.
[Girl]
I'm mailing anthrax to Piers Morgan.
[Trevor]
Or, nonsense about God's will being great could mean "affirmative", while horseshit about multiculturalism could mean "negative".
[Guy in front of cinema]
Hey man, they have a seven thirty show, do you think you can make it in time?
[Driving guy]
God is merciful and his love is unchanging. Did you already get me a ticket?
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