A Modern Lay Slaughter Beach, Dog

[Verse 1]
Jenny found herself in the supermarket line
With the crossword editor of the New York Times
She said, "How does it feel to be so well-read?
I can't even guess what you're reading"
He says, "I know I'm a big-shot literary boss
But I do not intend to die on that cross
I make what I earn, and I won't take no less
I'm not writing birthday greetings."
And then Jenny's blood ran hot
She said, "I'm not one for desk jockeys, but I'll give you a shot."

[Chorus]
Love in the United States
Empathy makes mе a modern lay
American kids swing the Amеrican way
What do you learn from your lover?

[Verse 2]
Tommy works all day sewing baseball gloves
Well, he's up all night watching Punch Drunk Love
He writes fanfiction on the factory floor
Mostly concerning Fernando
And then one fine day on the production line
Fernando says, "Hey Tommy, I'm runnin' out of time!
I'm 28 years old, at the edge of my prime
And I can't even play the piano."
And Tommy says, "Well, hell, Fern, neither can I
Do you wanna come over and watch a movie sometime?"