Habits Red Tears

Intro:
With a rope, gonna die
With a blade, questions why
With these drugs, feeling high
Just stop

Verse:
I'm so sick of trying, thinking I will pass
Tired of saying I'll do it, when I know I won't last
The door is open, but I'm too scared to go in
Need to stop telling myself these things
But I don't find it as bullshit
And I just wanna hold onto a bullet
Then shoot it in my head, no, I won't pull it out
Fuck my emotions, don't need no one else
Don't need no one to care for me, no, get out
I believe everything I say, everything I think
Cannot believe myself 'cuz I don't mean a thing
I'm used to being used, no wonder I am bruised
Don't need your help, no, I don't need you
I don't want you to get hurt like me
So stay away and you'll be hurt free
I say I'm used to getting hurt
But everytime it gets me
Say I learned my lesson
But it feels like I'm in deep sea
Tryna break out this cell, but it won't set me free
Fucking say what I think, but you always disagree
Always saying what you think, thinking it will save me
But I know what's right for me, no wait, no I don't
Always telling me lies
Yea, I'm better in my zone
Won't go pass my line, this is where I should stay
Tired of being hurt, tired of keeping you safe
Can't protect you if I can't even protect myself
Hate the thoughts that I have, they need to get expelled
Just want that rope around my neck
Because no one will love me
And no, I'm not be blessed
Suicidal everyday, please just let me rest
Rest in peace, man, I'm feeling depressed
Saying I shouldn't look back, but that's exactly what I do
Fuck them other bitches, man, what they gonna do?
Overthinking shit, don't tell me to relax
How you want me to relax when I'm all up in my past?
Only reason is because you always put me last
Used to being last, never was first
Don't tell me not cry, I don't wanna see the worse
Been through the bad shit, saying I look plastic
If I'm really plastic, burn me in the acid
Been through the worse, been through the bad shit
Taking many pills, this is a habit