This Is Not a Song, It’s a Sandwich Psychostick

I know what you're thinking
You're thinking, "This is a song"
Well I guess I'll just have to show you
Exactly where you are wrong!

Why aren't you hearing the cheese?
Why aren't you feeling the ham?
If you don't listen you'll miss it
You don't understand
I will explain it all once
I can explain it all twice
To make it clear to your brain
Until you've taken a bite

It couldn't be a dam 'cause it doesn't have a beaver
It's not the DMV 'cause it doesn't make you wait
It couldn't be a taco 'cause it isn't very crunchy
It couldn't be an Olsen 'cause it isn't Mary-Kate
It can't be Dirty Dancing 'cause it doesn't make you vomit
It couldn't be an iron 'cause it doesn't burn your face
It couldn't be Bruce Campbell 'cause it isn't freakin' awesome
It couldn't be a keyboard 'cause it doesn't have a space... BAR!

(Be-cause)
This is not a song, it's a sandwich!
What would make you think otherwise?
This is not a song, it's a sandwich!
Now no more of your vile and filthy lies