True Player for Real MC Lars (Ft. "Weird Al" Yankovic & Wheatus)

[Intro: MC Lars]
Ladies and gentleman
This is the victory anthem
Welcome to This Gigantic Robot Kills
We've got my childhood hero, "Weird Al" Yankovic playing accordion on this jam
That means we've made it, guys
This is a song about my life
And it goes a little something like this

[Verse 1: MC Lars]
Since I was 3 I had ADHD
Got in trouble constantly, said, “Just gotta be me!”
Nineteen years later I’ve got this piece of paper
It says “congrats, you’re broke English major”
I still live with Mom and Dad and it’s kind of sad
When this Stanford grad brings ladies to his pad
“What up girl?”
“Aren’t you that rapper with that song about Hot Topic?”
Maybe Bukowski was right about women? “Haha, stop it!”
This is an old-school jam, I’m dropping knowledge like Plato
While most rappers track it backwards and stay flat like Play-Doh
But I’m a Minor Threat, I flip scripts so they know
You can’t taze me bro (“Don’t taze me bro!”)
Not to conceal, keep it surreal
Piss off the British press when I’m like, “Who’s John Peel?”
The NME says, “Lars is well rubbish
His single is bollocks,” but I know that they love this!