Mr. Fregoli and the Diathesis-Stress Supermodel, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Con (An Untitled Track) Will Wood and the Tapeworms (Ft. Chris Dunne)

Untitled Artist Management, this is Max.
Yeah hey Max its Will.
Who?
Will Wood.
Oh Will Wood! How's my favourite client?
I don't know, you'd have to ask him.
Everyone's buzzing about your Normal Album, Willy!
Well that's the thing is I noticed its not on the Will Wood and the Tapeworms Spotify profile, its on a Will Wood profile, just Will Wood.
That's cause you're a pop icon now Willy!
What?
Now that you got that big hit with Love Me Normal -
Normally. And it was hardly a hit.
You should see the numbers!
I have access to the analytics.
Your a star now kid, we've really gotta focus on your brand. Who is Will Wood?
I am.
Thats right, gay icon Will Wood!
I'm - I'm not gay? Um
Any day now you're gonna wake up a household name, and that name's gotta be marketable. Pop stars don't have tapeworms!
I think a lot of them do, actually.
My sides. Listеn you worry too much, did you take your medication today?
Uhh Max I um uh...
Did you?
I mean, I was about to.
You know what you got, kid?
What?
"It" you got "It." You got moxiе, you got spunk.
Spunk?
You wanna see your name in lights?
I mean, if it pays.
Look, I'm in it for the music, I just love music, I'm a music fan. And you're the most talented artist in my roster you know that?
No.
We just gotta make the right branding decisions, get you in the room in front of the right people.
I dont care about the branding, I just wanna make sure people who are listening on my old Spotify can find me out on the new Will Wood profile.
I'll take care of it kid. You stick with me, you know I'll take care of ya. I got an idea
What?
We'll post a track to the old profile that sounds like some kinda skit but is actually obviously just an advertisement for the new Will Wood Spotify profile.
Okay, yeah, no I like that. But it can't be subtle.
Of course not. And we'll make it self-aware so it's immune to criticism.
That is why meta commentary exists.
And to be safe we'll also make it criticise meta commentary so we're doubly protected.
That's a great idea. And we can blame the name change on a fictional manager so I don't have to explain all the complicated business reasons behind the change.
Remember, we'll only be able to get away with this if it seems like we're making some kind of artistic statement.
Well we can make it seem like I'm criticising postmodernism and the disingenuous nature of the music industry, and put some avant-garde droning in the back.
Hold on I'm getting another call.
Wait what?